When I first heard about this movie, I was so pissed because the title completely mislead me.  I thought it was referring to a live action version of Avatar: The Last Airbender, one of my favorite television series’ of all time.  And sure that movie is coming out, but literally every time I heard about this movie, it was like being lied to again and again.

Then I wanted to hate this movie for that stupid cross campaign they did with Coke that aired before every movie all summer.  It was so cheesy and predicated on the idea that their are fanboys out there drinking soda who were already so excited about a movie that was shooting arrows at them from their computer screens.

Finally, I wanted to hate it because for the first two weeks it was in theaters everyone who saw it told me, it’s so pretty that the fact that the story was predictable and basically a retelling of Pocahontas, Fern Gully, and Dances with Wolves didn’t really matter.

But I saw it.  I even paid the extra three bucks for 3D.  And I liked it.  Really liked it.  It was a movie movie and it totally sucked me in.  The two hour and forty minute running time that I had scoffed at flew by.  Sure there were some wince-inducing lines and obvious plot twists, but I didn’t just ignore them because the film was so pretty. I let them go because the whole thing was so sincere.  Every character believed everything they were saying and doing so intensely.  There was no subtext because this was melodrama at its absolute best.  And that was awesome.

Then James Cameron won the Golden Globe for Best Director.  I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, because creating an entire world was a huge achievement.  (Side note: The CGI was jaw dropping, but how did they get Sam Worthington’s legs to look atrophied?  That was crazy!)  So kudos, Mr. Cameron.  Then Avatar won the Golden Globe for Best Picture, and I found myself writing a post.  This movie is going to win so many awards for all the things it did right, mainly the effects, the score, those colors!  But I refuse to believe that if something is pretty enough, the strength of the narrative doesn’t matter.  Film may be a visual medium, but it’s visual medium through which we tell stories.

So here are five things that James Cameron could have done differently to make the story worthy of the breathtaking Pandora.

THE ENSEMBLE

Two words:  Michelle Rodriguez.  Her character was pure plot device.  She was there to move things along at certain key moments, but she ultimately felt like cannon fodder.  The moment where her character joined the Na’vi side was when they blew up the giant tree because, “She didn’t sign up for this.”  I never felt like she had signed up for anything in the first place because her character was more of cardboard cut out, a chalk outline, than an actual character.  And there were many more in the cast that got the same treatment, such as the Na’vi who was next in line to lead the tribe.  If their concrete wants and needs had been established, their sacrifice during the final battle would have meant so much more.

THE VILLIANS

What if instead of this being a purely capitalistic venture, Earth is dying.  Literally.  And this Unobtainium is the resource that’s going to save our planet.  This humanizes all the “shoot first, ask questions later” soldiers and better establishes why the scientists are there at all.  Plus, the clawed marine and greedy CEO can stay cartoonishly evil.  They can still do terrible things because they’re power hungry and well, evil, but they can then claim the moral high ground while twirling their mustaches because they’re doing this for the sake of the human race!

ONE OF US

When the Na’vi decide to take Jake Sully into their tribe and teach him their ways, it’s because a bunch of sacred seeds take a liking to him.  After they’ve accepted him, he has to survive several intense, incredibly dangerous trials, but when they initially bring him in, it feels a bit silly and random.  It would have been nice if he’d had to do something brutal and insane right from the get go.  It just takes too long for things to get tough for Sully, but all those pretty plants sure did make that time fly.

PANDORA AS A BRAIN!

When Sigourney Weaver’s character is arguing for her Avatar program and not obliterating the Na’vi, she explains that all of Pandora, the flora, the fauna, and even the Na’vi interface on this giant network.  She started to explain it, and it sounded really, really awesome.  I wish it had been introduced right from the beginning.  Then it would have set up an even stronger ticking clock.  The scientists have to prove that the planet has more to offer than just the ridiculously valuable Unobtainium before the soldiers take out the big guns.

UNOBTANIUM AND HAIR GENITALS

Did he have to call it Unobtainium?  And did there have to be hair genitals?  I was just waiting for their braids to touch during that sex scene, and then I realized that if they showed that, they’d being implying bestiality with all the animals they were riding and flying around on.  Even Cameron knew that hair genitals were problematic.